The Shelf Life of Fear and Regret

Mikayla's 1 year photo

This past Friday I had the pleasure of attending a talk given by Jon Acuff for The Refuge Center called "Reset: The Messy Art of Beginning Again".  I have been a fan of Jon since reading his book Quitter last year.  His talk did not disappoint, and I took away a few nuggets from his lecture.  One thing he said really stuck with me afterwards.  He said that "FEAR has a shorter shelf life than REGRET, and the only way to overcome FEAR is BRAVERY."  Wow...only going through true life experiences could have given Mr. Acuff that wisdom.  The longer I live the more I think that wisdom is only gained through life experiences.    As with most quotes and life lessons I hear these days, I usually find some way to internalize it to my life and my family.  I have thought a great deal about that quote and have unpacked it over the weekend.  I still think back to the day that was the most terrifying of my life.  Make no mistake.  I was afraid.  The day I was told our daughter had Dandy Walker Syndrome and the doctor explained the possible very difficult scenarios to us, was the day I had the most fear in my life thus far.  I am not here to pat myself on the back, and say I had all this bravery to overcome my fear in that moment.  I am man enough to admit that I went home that night and cried like a baby with my wife Heather.  In fact, I am still afraid of what our future looks like.  But what I don't have is regret.  I don't regret the times I have held her in my arms, the times I have made her laugh, and the joys she has brought into my life.  Those moments cast out all of my fears.  What I would regret, is NOT having her in my life because I was too afraid to choose life.  I regret more the things I didn't do because I was afraid to, than the things I did because I thought I was making the right choice.  So I ask all of you, next time you are confronted with something that gives you fear try to take a step back and ask what will last longer?  Will the fear last longer, or will it be your regret?

On a final note, Mikayla is scheduled for surgery for her cochlear implants this Friday.  It is on Good Friday of all days.  In his homily at mass last night, our priest told us his favorite part of the Mel Gibson movie Passion of the Christ is the part when Jesus fell down on his way to be crucified and he saw his mother.  He said to her "Behold mother, I make all things new."  It is interesting our priest said that, as that has always been one of my favorite parts as well.  I have made the commitment every Good Friday to watch that movie, as tough as it is to watch, as a reminder to me the sacrifice Jesus made for my sins.  I won't be watching the movie this Good Friday with Mikayla in surgery, but my prayers for this week is for Jesus to make all things new.  Make Mikayla's ears new again, and allow her to hear for the first time in her short life.