Bliss - Short Film that Changed My Life

Mikayla and Me at the Hospital before her cochlear implant surgery

     This blog post will make reference to a short film called Bliss that I watched for the first time in college.  It is a short film (6 minutes) that literally changed my life.  It was very impactful for me.  I highly recommend you watch it.  CLICK HERE to view it. 

    For a long time now, I have been moved to find my true, genuine, and authentic self that God made me to be.  I tend to seek literature, movies, media, relationships, and communities that reinforce this sentiment in my life.  Whether it is a short firm like Bliss or one of my favorite books/movies The Legend of Bagger Vance (doesn't hurt that it is about golf as well), finding my authentic self has been a life long journey for me.  I have sought it in my family, friendships, marriage, church, and inside myself.  It is a journey because I often get lost on my way.  I get lost in wordly things, or in being a people pleaser (which I am), or in just being busy & distracted.  I have found no "bliss product", like the one in the short film, to cover up this overwhelming desire in me to be the person God created me to be.  I have known fear, regret, and pain from this desire.  I have known joy, creativity, and true happiness from this desire.  This desire drives me, and this desire has changed as I have become a father.  I now have someone else to take care of.  A little girl who physically and spiritually needs me more than I thought I would ever have to give to a human being.    She requires more patience, understanding, and love than I knew I had within me.  You see... I never planned to have a child with special needs.  I don't think any of us do.
      I have found more of my genuine self in my love for her, but it makes me question often what will Mikayla's search for her genuine self be like?  I always want the best for her, but I struggle with what that will look like.  Heather and I continually provide opportunities for her to develop.  We and her therapists/teachers work with her on her hearing, her feeding, holding up her head, sitting, crawling, using her arms, just to name a few.  It feels like we are always working on something, and when we aren't we feel that guilty that we didn't do this or that.  She has made SO much progress, but I struggle to know when its time to work and when it is time to just BE.  How do I foster my daughter's true authentic self?  How do I learn diligence in working with her, but also just giving her my presence?  How do I pray to God to heal her, AND pray for acceptance of who she is?  I am still figuring it out with my wife Heather, and we are learning over time that sometimes your best isn't just good enough.  Sometimes, it is simply all you have to give. 

Thanks again to everyone for reading, and I always look forward to your comments.  Have a great weekend!