What Are You Sorry About?

Mikayla and our dog Miley striking same nap pose!

    I had a friend this week with a daughter around Mikayla's age (almost a year old) chatting with me about his daughter starting to learn to walk and moving around.  He had that gleam in his eye that you only see in a man as a proud papa talking about his daughter.  He then stopped and apologized to me for talking about it.  I was taken aback when he said this, and I just told him: "Look man, I would NEVER want you to feel bad for being proud of your daughter and her progress."  This feeling of feeling sorry or pity is a common response when I tell someone I have a special needs daughter.  I typically just tell them I don't want you to feel sorry for me or for my daughter.  I am not sorry I have her in my life, and it certainly doesn't keep me from being proud of her.  Her progress may not be as far along as typically developing kids, but my wife Heather and I take so much joy in what progress she does experience.  You would have thought she took her first step the first time she rolled over!  She still isn't rolling over consistently yet, but it is the small things in life that get you through.
    I will just tell you that if you know us, don't feel sorry for us.  Understand our challenges YES, feel sorry NO.  We don't feel sorry for ourselves.  We have so much joy and gratitude brought into our lives because of sweet Mikayla.  She is such a trooper, and I mean it when I say she has sweetest temperament and personality.  You may think I am partial, and I probably am, but she is just a little cuddle bug who loves some TLC.  In the same way, I want you to share the joys and successes of your kids with us.  I want to be proud of them as you are, and it is always on my heart to do my best not to compare.  As I have mentioned in a previous post, comparison is often the biggest robber of joy in our lives.  If you feel some sorrow start to creep in, just think of that immortalized song from Bobby McFerrin: Whistles "Don't worry, Be Happy!"  Enjoy some NCAA basketball tonight!  Until next time...

Making Waves

Mikayla hanging out at Rosemary Beach.

   My wife Heather, Mikayla, and I were fortunate to vacation in Rosemary Beach, Florida this past weekend.  It was nice to have a little getaway, and some time to recharge the batteries.  We are more mountain than beach people, but the beach is very relaxing and a nice distraction from everyday life.  The final morning before we left the beach I stuck my toes in the sand at the edge of the water, and just stood there for a few moments.  I watched the vast ocean in front of me, and listened to the sound of the waves as they crashed in and the flowed out.  I let a sense of peace wash over me, as I pondered what God had brought into my life over the past year.  What things did he bring onto the shores of my life from the vast ocean?  What joys and what challenges?  I think sometimes we get caught up in the waves in our lives when they are crashing, but don't always take the time to step back and take a look at the big picture of the ocean.  Yes, we have faced some challenges this year but when I look into my daughter's eyes she has also brought me a new sense of purpose and has allowed me not to take things for granted.  How could you not just love that little munchkin with her sunglasses on?
    This was a great reminder for me as we drove back that afternoon, and Heather's car engine died in Clanton, Alabama.  In the past, I think Heather and I would have really been stressed about the whole thing, but we see life with a different lens now.  Mikayla's challenges have become our own.  We learned when our house was flooded in 2010, that things can and will be replaced but the love we have for each other is what gets us through those times when the waves crash on our shores.  Take some time to find your beach this year, and I promise you won't regret it.

The Heart of Yoga

Mikayla taking a nap with our dog Miley

I have been taking Yoga for awhile now at the Crossfit gym I go to.  I have to admit I am pretty terrible at the poses, but I have started to get better.  My favorite part of the class is at the end for Shavasana, or as our teacher likes to call it "The Heart of Yoga."  Shavasana is a time of relaxation and deep meditation where we try clear our mind of thoughts (never an easy task).  As we enter this period of meditation, our yoga instructor always gives us a few encouraging mantras to focus on and help us clear our mind.  These mantras might be something like: "I choose to be content in this moment" or "I am worthy of love," amongst many others.  Although I do pray often, I had never taken time each week to meditate and keep my mind clear of thoughts, and try to release my worry and anxiety.  What a great practice this is, and I now look forward to this time each week.  The other thing it has taught me is the power of a MANTRA to repeat and keep with you.  A mantra is a group of words you believe to have some spiritual or psychological power.
Well after a few sessions now, I am a firm believer that they do have power.  I have been focusing more and more on taking mantras with me throughout my days and weeks beyond Yoga.  The mantra might be something I hear in Yoga, something I need to tell myself, or a Bible verse.  I find they really do have an effect on how you process things throughout the day and can make a positive impact on your life.  When you have a daughter with special needs, you will often spend a great deal of time in anxiety and worry about her.  You worry about what the future looks like, and how you can handle it all.  Having a simple mantra can be a reminder to let go of that worry and give your anxiety over to God.  I used to have more prayers times with God where I would pray, and then just leave the prayer there throughout the day.  I would leave it until I came back to it the next morning.  Through the help of the Shavastana time of Yoga and simple mantras, I have started to have more conversations with God that I take with me throughout the day.  I take my meditations and quiet times with me now, and I do my best not to worry about Mikayla.  I simply try to love her to the best of my ability.  I suppose you could even say that is one of my mantras.  I am certainly not perfect at this, and I know I never will be... but that won't keep me from trying.